A Tale of Two Perspectives

tale of two perspectives-the secret to finding happiness is not to search for it, but to create it.CLIENT:  “I’m scared and I don’t know why.”
COACH:  “I know why you’re scared.”
CLIENT:  “You do?  Well, tell me.  Why am I scared?”
COACH:  “You’re scared because you’re thinking scary thoughts.”

The same scenario could play out in a coaching session where the client says, “I’m sad and I don’t know why.”  To which the coach responds, “You’re sad because you’re thinking sad thoughts.”  Or angry or frustrated or lonely or any other feeling you can name.

Feeling scared, sad, angry, frustrated, etc. seems to be a response to external events, but it’s actually a response to your self-talk.

From the Outside In perspective of life, you view external conditions as the cause of your feelings and experiences.  With an Outside In perspective of life, you give your power away – to other people and circumstances.  You respond to and are affected by what you experience “out there.”

From the Inside Out perspective, you know you are the creator of what you experience “out there.”  From the Inside Out perspective, your focus shifts to what’s happening inside yourself – to what you’re thinking and feeling.  The process of conscious creation is Inside Out – consciously choosing thoughts and feelings on the inside which produce circumstances and events on the outside.

If you’re like most people, you’ve been trying your entire life to improve your external circumstances, believing that changes on the outside will make you feel better on the inside.  A better job, a bigger house, the right partner, dropping those last ten pounds – all that “out there” stuff – none of which can make you happy.  OK, maybe for a short time, but soon you’re back to your practiced vibration.  If you’re unhappy, there simply IS no job, no house, no spouse, no number on the scales that can make you happy.

Some of you may want to argue that your particular circumstances do not match anything that’s going on inside you.  Stacy believed that too.

Stacy was certain that her alcoholic husband was not in any way a reflection of herself.  After all, she reasoned, she was not an alcoholic.  And that was true – she was not an alcoholic.  However, scratching the surface a little deeper, she was able to see that her vibration of dependence and wanting to escape and looking for people and things on the outside to make her feel better on the inside was an exact match after all.

Or take Joe who was diagnosed with a serious illness.  He said, “I could not possibly have attracted this illness.  I’ve never even heard of this illness.”  OK, fair enough, but he had been deeply grieving the loss of his wife to cancer.  Those negative emotions and his intense focus on his wife’s illness had created enough momentum to produce illness in his own body.

Or Leslie:  “I did not attract that car accident.  I was not even thinking about a car accident.”  Right, but every morning she turned on CNN and inhaled the latest news about wars and terrorist attacks and murders.  She discussed the gory details with co-workers and felt it all very deeply.  Little did she know that her focus on all those unwanted things was attracting something unwanted in her own life, which ultimately showed up in the form of a car accident.

The Law of Attraction is so freakishly consistent that there simply are no exceptions!  You attract what you think about – whether you want it or not.

Trying to fix the inside by fixing the outside can only bring frustration and disappointment.  You CAN, however, change your world from the Inside Out by changing your thoughts and feelings.

As you shift your perspective from Outside In to Inside Out, you access the true freedom and full empowerment that is your birthright.


  1. How do you stop negative thinking? I try but I always seen to slip back to it.

    • Hi, Mary! We don’t really stop negative thinking. It’s more about noticing it and replacing it in the moment with something positive. Sometimes I notice a negative thought and, before it can gain momentum, I yell to my self, “Stop that!” It’s a daily practice, but it gets easier. Notice how you feel. Choose a thought that feels better. Rinse. Repeat.

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